As we close in on day 365 without Jax, I pause to reflect on all the terrible “firsts” in our last year, all that came before, and all that awaits us as we face the future. Truthfully, nothing is forever. We are not even who we used to be. I know I am not. We are constantly being reborn, evolving into something and someone new. The same can be said of most things, from the pupating caterpillar to the massive, galaxy-eating black hole.
And yet, in spite of the inevitability of change, the conservation of energy and matter still rules the day. Even nothing itself is impermanent. That just seems cool to me.
So once our matter calls it a day, what of our energy? I like to think that too continues to evolve and transform, in rhythm with our universe. In which case, we never truly need to say goodbye.
Nothing is Forever
Starry skies open up
Giving way to
Cold nothingness
No light, no sound, no heat of life
Just the subtle pull of the well
Drawing me in, like moth to ghostly flame
Path curving, rounding the void
The string draws tighter
Strands of light and substance
Taper as gravity’s vise bears down
Accelerating, whirling
The needle on the record
Circling the unseen drain
Faster and faster
Closer and closer
Forever and ever
Converging to a single point
Everything that ever was
Impossibly pressed into
A knot of nothingness
Quivering, screaming out
From the center of the void
Nothing is forever
Neither the thing nor even the no
Even the nothing
Must break free eventually
Issue forth explosively
Into the new Everything
Light, sound, heat of life
Every color, warm and bright
The sound of a billion tiny voices
Sing out joyfully
Nothing is forever
Neither the thing nor even the no
Life and death
Matter and energy
Collapse of gravity
Integration and entropy
The Universe keeps churning
And the great wheel keeps turning
Nothing is forever
Neither the thing nor even the no
