Another day, another sad milestone, it seems. Yesterday, we lost Jax’s beloved goldfish, “Blub.” It may seem like a small thing, being “just” a feeder goldfish you could pick up at any pet store for a few cents, but this fish was dear to Jax, and to the rest of us in Jax’s absence. Blub has been with us some four years or so, always swimming around in its bowl on the kitchen counter, always aware and responsive to human presence. Blub really seemed fond of all of us, and we were fond of Blub. We will be burying Blub under the river at “Jax’s Way,” where many objects of art and symbolism lie in loving remembrance.
If there is any love or justice in this vast universe, Jax and Blub (and the rest of our departed loved ones) are now together in perpetual joy and happiness. And someday, we too will join them again.
This is Skylar Mitchell, aka Skyy Mitchell. She is the 24 year old dealer who is responsible for the death of our Jax, and has even admitted as much, in the face of overwhelming evidence. This piece of garbage is dead to rights on the evidence, and yet, she walks free while the Los Angeles District Attorney’s office hems and haws over whether they have enough to prosecute her for 2nd Degree Murder or to push for a lesser charge. Why, is not exactly clear to us.
Let me break this down for you…
This person sold fentanyl to Jax, and has admitted to it.
The fentanyl sold to Jax was being deceptively passed off as either Percocet or Xanax. Why press fentanyl into something that looks like a legitimate prescription drug, if not to deceive?
The dealer has had a previous brush with the law, in which (thankfully) the (also fentanyl) victim was saved by the timely administration of Narcan.
Jax was given no such option.
The dealer has also admitted to being a fentanyl USER. Which strongly suggests a) she knew what she was selling; and b) given the amount of press given the topic of fentanyl deaths, the “reasonable person standard” strongly suggests she knew that she was putting our Jax at risk — but she did it anyway, to make a few bucks.
Let’s be perfectly clear. If I knowingly sold you rat poison and told you it was aspirin, and you died from ingesting it, that would be a poisoning with what the law refers to as IMPLIED MALICE — knowing something was deadly and pushing it anyway. This is what makes it MURDER. And our case should be no different. And yet…
The LA DA suggests that the dealer being a user might somehow provide a mitigating factor that counterbalances the “reasonable person” argument shown above. We are currently awaiting a decision on whether the case will be taken up by the DEA and the federal court system, in which case, this crime will very likely be prosecuted as 2nd Degree Murder — as we believe it should be. But due to some unfortunate differences in California law, it seems most likely that the charge would only be Involuntary Manslaughter. What does this mean to us? The difference between 20 years and MAYBE three.
Our Jax is gone forever. Meanwhile, this complete waste of oxygen, Skylar Mitchell walks freely, and is almost sure to be still dealing deathly fentanyl to support her own habit.
How should we feel about this? How do YOU?
So that everyone is aware of this walking crime wave and exactly how to avoid her social media presence, here are a few links where she can be found:
See the ongoing development of the physical spaces we create as tributes to Jax, in remembrance of all the love, joy and color they brought into our lives. From rainbows and succulents to ladybugs and vines, all the whimsical things that remind us of our beloved and unforgettable Jax. We may eventually create a separate gallery for our dedications like this. Stay tuned, and do let us know if you’d like to get involved.
Moving in on six months, and we’re still here. Life has changed and continues to change, but there are some things that we now understand will always be with us. The love, the longing and the pain — it all changes but never goes away. So it goes.
One hundred eighty days Feels like a thousand times You’ve been torn from my arms Again and again
One hundred eighty days Still asking myself that sticky question To which there’s no good answer Shouldn’t have to ask
One hundred eighty days Might as well be a million Might as well be just one Why am I still here?
One hundred eighty days Black hole still pricks my insides Phantom pains of a cut away heart Never whole again
One hundred eighty days Navigating the quicksand One foot in front of the other As I catch my breath
One hundred eighty days All in countless different ways Everyday things remind me of you I wish you were here
One hundred eighty days Living and learning the shift Between love in the present And remembering
One hundred eighty days Taking the small victories Keepers of the memories Live another day
One hundred eighty days Grace and patience guide the way There is no rushing forward And no turning back
The ever winding and sometimes difficult road that has brought me to this place and time has given me so very much. After all, it gave me my beautiful and complicated Jax, the greatest teacher I’ve ever been honored to learn from. Regardless of what happens from here on out, the learning will always remain a part of who I now am: a much better version of myself than I could have ever been without.
One very important lesson I’ve learned is that when we look upon someone, however close, how distant or even strange to us we can’t know what pain and anguish hides just beneath the surface. And we can’t know what we don’t know. But we can learn to feel for perfect strangers by looking inward and daring to know ourselves better in all our perfect imperfection. And learning to love what we see, without condition; to nourish and cultivate ourselves to blossom into something even better.
Everybody hurts. Every one of us has unmet needs, unfulfilled purpose, struggles and frustration. And every single one of us is the answer to all of the hurt and need in each other’s hearts. Judge less, love more. Unconditionally. Universally.
It’s up to us all to try to live up to these lessons and become better people and be more present and sensitive to those around us who are in need of just a little bit of empathy.
